Tuesday, April 2, 2008. As I write this entry I'm seated on the most gorgeous patio outside of the buffet breakfast at the Teak Resort Hotel outside of Chiang Rai, which I have absolutely fallen in love with. I'm 10km from town, really in the middle of the rice fields surrounded by lush tropical foliage, flowers and fauna: birds chirping and singing exotic melodies I've never heard before, while the raucous cacophony of chirping frogs has subsided with the morning light. Does coffee get any better than tropical paradise? And it's not more than 80 degrees? Sigh... and I'm blissfully alone- the group all off to ride elephants, I've opted out of the optional trip to get some peace and quiet. They are off to the hill tribes for a contrived meeting with the famous long-necked Karen people this afternoon at 2:30pm and I'm still just not sure that I'm going to go, or if I'm just going to sit here and enjoy no tour guide barking barely distinguishable English at verbal-diarrhea pace into a too loud microphone while I'm packed onto a bus with 37 strangers. I may actually join them for the bus ride in to the night market tonight, though- for a cheap dinner and some home-friend noodles from a vendor's stall. I've impressed everybody with my wild disregard for culinary sanitation and amoebic dysentery by *gasp* eating fully cooked food from street carts. Damn, and I keep forgetting to tell them to add a side of protozoa with that bean curd...
(L-R: my view from the breakfast table; trying to grow an orchid or bromeliad on a local tree and a beautiful red flower ripe with evening dew)
Bliss aside, I've got to tell you about Monday April 1st.
I got up again before the alarm at 5am. Sunrise, surprisingly, isn't until about 6:15am here so too late to get out and take some early-light photographs in this, the only morning in Chiang Mai which dawns without fog or low cloud cover. And we needed to get to an early breakfast to be on the road by 7:30am. I had to write out the sign of the morning's schedule for Nan last night- she was sitting at her little table in the lobby before we went out to the market last night and looking really perplexed. I came up and realized she was trying so hard to translate Thai into written English so she could write the schedule on the whiteboard set up for us next to her table. I offered to write it for her. There were rains in the north with some flooding and a bus had overturned on the roads, so she wanted to get off at 7:30 instead of 8am. Yesterday M&I let me know that the restaurant is actually open at 6am instead of 6:30am for breakfast, so I dressed, did my 90 sit-ups, 30 push-ups feeling not too bad after my trip to the masseuse last night to get down for an early meal. By 6:30 I had eaten and was back in the room for a little last-minute packing, trying to shove everything I'd brought and bought into my suitcase with only marginal success. By 7:30am I was on the bus, given my blessing to the very lovely porter on this trip to load my red floral suitcase onto the bus and found a seat at the back. No electrical plugs on the bus, I was hoping to get this page updated with 4 hours of travel time coming my way but this battery seems to only have about an hour of life, despite being promised almost 3.5 at the store?? M&I showed up just after me, and laid down a stack of CDs to burn the pictures on my drive onto disc for them, and he set to work trying to do that. It was sucking up too much battery, though, so Marius went into my settings, discovered that 8620981.5 programs are running as soon as I turn this rotten thing on, so he turned most of them off and now I'll hopefully get more time on my battery. I just bought this laptop a few weeks ago, so maybe I can just upgrade the battery. His plan seems to have worked because this morning, on my patio here I've used only a half an hour, and it's been a half and hour. Time for a 3rd cup of coffee before I set into the trip...
The bus. The massive, 38 seater carting us all around parked while we eat lunch. Wild purple velvet interior.
Gonna have to be black, they cleaned up the breakfast dishes so no sugar bowl and no milk... That's okay, I was feeling a bit black by the end of a long trip with Nan chatting away into the speakers and trying to drown out the chatter with my ipod... M&I sat at the very back, I got about30 mintues of typing on dreamwaver before it was bye-bye. A very quiet younger woman sat next to me today- she is one of a duo who are younger, very hip and seem to keep to themselves, except for flirting occasionally with the 2 younger hispanic men who have extremely expensive cameras and I believe are from CA as well. These 2 guys were in the seats across the aisle from me. Lina and her youngest sister in front of me. Off we went into some really, really beautiful countryside. Lush forest, jungle, really. The frequent passing of a wat, and even once passing a massive stone structure that looked like what I'm expecting at Angkor- and it was a Khmer temple- really beautiful, but we didnt' stop. Why do we stop for cheezy lacquerware and not at this historic Khmer temple sitting at the side of the road? I'm not sure of the priorities on this trip, but I seem to be joined in opinion by the 40% of this trip who are under age 35. We tend to sit at the back of the bus and somehow yesterday I started delineating us/them as "The Back of the Bus" and those at "the front of the bus..."
First stop was on the side of the road when somebody from the front decided they were going to be sick? I think. That lead to the discovery that a small head is tucked up underneath the back stairwell of the bus, and this lead to 5 (not kidding) of the women on the bus getting up and in line to use it. We drove about 2.5 hours total to lunch in the Golden Triangle, with a stop at this really quirky place called "Condoms and Cabbages" designating itself as the "Rubber Triangle" for a potty and snack break on the way. Condoms and Cabbages is decorated by the little rubber tubes anthropomorphized into smiling friends, welcoming us to this charming little hotel and boutique. I had a cafe au lait and walked around the shop, they have a shiraz here that apparently won some unspecified award in "California" by an unspecified body for an unspecified vintage and varietal. I wasn't about to shell out 600bhat to try it, though. I'd stop at the side of the road later for that...
The grounds at the condom
place were really lovely.
Even after walking around, I couldn't figure the connection to condoms out here in the middle of nowhere, Thailand. Christina got back on the bus after me, and showed me a picture of an information plaque she found at the site. If you bought something in the gift shop, you even got free condoms. Apparently back in the day (1930s? I can't recall now) one of the Thai nobility decided to launch a large public health initiative to reduce the birth rates in Thailand and brought back the condom and tried to de-stigmatize its use or even its very presence by giving them out at restaurants, hotels, everywhere. Instead of a free mint after a meal in a restaurant, thank you for your patronage, here's a condom... etc. This worked- reducing the population growth in Thailand from 3.2% to 1.6%. That's pretty impressive. The Condoms and Cabbages hotel is set up in that tradition. It is also the setting for the famous Golden Triangle- where much of the world's opium is grown, and of course, much of the area's crime is related to this illicit trade. The Golden Triangle is our next destination. We drove another hour after the condom break to our lunch spot just outside of the small tourist area which houses the docks for the small fishing boats and tourist vessels taking visitors up the Mekong river to the actual triangle island in between 3 countries: Myanmar (Burma) to the north and west, (China 120 miles farther north up the Mekong) Laos to the east, and Thailand to the south. I've added a map here, which I've drawn on with the red marker for you to see where we were, and where we went so quickly in Laos.
Lunch was at a roadside stop just outside of the Golden Triangle tourist area, and it was again a buffet of food. There was a man inside the door making noodles for soup by hand- the soup itself was bland, as is the food as you get closer to Burma- less spice or interest by far. But it was cool so see him making your noodles by hand just before boiling them, putting them into a bowl and ladeling the broth on top just for you. I watched him for a few minutes, and he was smiling knowing I was taking his picture. The meal was okay, but memorable for one reason: thai pancakes! These fabulous, delicious eggy concoctions are little tiny egg white gelatinous masses, steamed in small shallow cups with some kind of sweetening stuff inside and taste lite custardy, slightly rubbery discs that you sprinkle with sugar and I could eat a whole bowl of them. After lunch, I climbed to the top of a hill outside the restaurant which was short but extremely steep and my legs were letting me know I'd be suffering 3 days of sheer pain after for this climb by shaking so badly on my way back down I thought I might be stuck. The view form the top was really pretty of the Mekong delta- you can see the entrance to the lunch place is the wooden arch with the explosion of bougainvillea, and next 2 shots of the Mekong and delta which were taken from the top of my little climb.
The Golden Triangle itself is a small island where the boarders of the 3 countries meet and on it sits a massive casino where all 3 nations can come nad waste their money. The Thai side has a massive golden Buddha and other assorted bling bling that suits the Thai fancy for gilded wildly gaudy things. It has numerous huge elephant sculptures under large gilded, carved and mirrored statues with gods and other idols like Ganesha and Vishnu all over the place as well as a ton of little tourist stalls catering to (clearly) western visitors as well as a spot to launch a few fishing boats, or boats for tourists to troupe over to Laos (as we agreed to do, for an extra 100bht which gets us a stamp in our passport saying we were also in Laos. I WAS IN LAOS! And it's a nasty, impoverished hole just like Lan, the Laotian nurse who I liked so much at the Genny said it was. She made me fresh spring rolls at the little going away party the nurses had for me when I left. I miss her. I can see why they left. It's a pit. The day was foggy, and we all trouped onto a skiff with a roof to motor out into the delta for a view of the 3 countries and the massive casino sitting on the island. The we motored over to Laos to this tiny village set up with chickens and tons of feral dogs roaming around with stall after stall of extremely cheap tourist crap and signs advertising "Laos" for tourists like us who paid the extra bhat to say they were there. It was filthy, the people wildly poor, and when I got a look behind the little stalls at the huts where the folks who call this village home live, it was just depressing.
L_R above: a bamboo bridge, Laos. A Thai fisherman with a small fire on the shore; Thai Bling at the gateway.
L-R above: John (also from SF) looking at the Mekong is Laos; the dragon "ship" housing the Buddha; the Golden Triangle massive Buddha from the water.
L-R below: M&I always having fun; the dock in Laos (see bamboo bridge above) with the Laotian flag; a view of the overcast Mekong delta: land on the left is Burma, on the right is Laos. Follow that river 120 miles north and you'll run into China somewhere. Thailand is behind me.
On the banks of Laos, the middle picture above is two women panning for gold along the banks of the Mekong. There was also a recent slide, caving in some of the shore and the far right is a picture of a team of Laotian workers trying to repair the damage from the slide, as we passed them closely they got very excited and waved, very friendly. Especially the guy in the straw hat at the top whose smile could be seen positively beaming from the boat. We all smiled and waved back at them.
The laotians, among many other cultures have a habit of trading, eating, selling, drying, using for medicinal purposes, skinning and other various indignities their endangered species and I felt very sanctimonious and judgmental about the killing of cobras and stuffing them into jars of alcohol with or without scorpions then giving free shots to tourists in the hopes they'll buy a bottle. In a not-so-subtle suggestion, this is supposed to increase the vigor and sexual prowess of the drinker and endow him with the power of the animal. There were hundreds of bottles on the tables in this one shop alone- let alone in the whole little shanty town we visited in Laos. I saw Jeff Corwin go off on this practice once and I tend to agree with him. That said, I didn't try any of the gross stuff, but a lot of the tour did. Judgment about the killing of endangered species aside, it was funny to watch the reaction to people who tried it as well as the bystanders. Marius will eat anything, so he tried some and Paul and his lovely pharmacist wife whose name I can't quite remember (I really like them both, also from San Francisco I saw them check in at SFO just before me) were standing next to me and he says "What is this stuff?" I said "It's supposed to..." and he cut me off with "Give virility to the drinker. Well, I certainly don't need any of that." I was cracking up as his wife next to me said "Whatever they seem to believe..." and walked away chuckling. I was howling laughing. We split up and wandered around the little shanty town, a group of german tourists also joining us from thailand for the quick half and hour stop. The two little feral puppies were adorable, and followed me around for a while, chewing at my ankles (no kidding! but they were cute). I wanted to send teams of vets down here just like I did in CR to spay and neuter all the feral pets roaming the streets, there are millions of them. In a cage just adjacent to our little bamboo dock was this beautiful black bird in a cage, I didn't know what kind but he looked like some kind of caricari.
Back across the mekong to Thailand, another couple groups from their air-conditioned 40 person motor coaches were waiting to get on their boats and the hill tribe children, decked out in their traditional dress came to sing and beg. I went on a little tour exploring when we got back on land, we had a few mintues, Nan Nan ever the encourager for spending money on tourist souvenir crap on behalf of her people, the carved gargoyle man was at the base of a staircase flanked with 5 headed snakes with tails that stretched up a staircase that went up a hill to a wat of some kind. I looked down to a bad smell and realized I was standing in dog crap. I cursed and decided to name all the pictures I took there accordingly. To the far right below is my attempt at art with a strangler fig.
Back on the bus, we drove through some extremely beautiful countryside, lush with mountains in the background, the day was in and out of cloudy with a few drips of condensation and patches of sun. Most clinging to the mountain tops in the distance. Rice fields everywhere at eye level. We drove north the stopped quickly at the small town of Mae Sai which is the northernmost point in THailand and is the boarder with Burma. Its streets are heavily lined with market stalls as well as vendors selling roasted chestnuts and other foods. Stalls are packed with cheap chinese made electronics, jewelry, games, clothing, the usual tourist stuff, as well as food. I saw these HUGE bags of morel mushrooms which would sell in the states for probably a couple hundred bucks at the stalls of many vendors. It made me want to buy them- tons of them and ship them home like heroin. Man, those bags were worth a fortune. We trooped off the bus to explore a little while, and walk to the customs gate which separates Burma from Thailand. In the photo below, you can see the Thai gate with the small but visible blue gate announcing you're now in Myanmar in the arch.
I took some street shots, there was so much there to see, and children who were like flies begging at every turn. A woman I caught too late to get another shot of carrying the traditional baskets on a bamboo rod over her shoulders entering Myanmar on the lower right (below) as well a a woman pushing a street cart and a vendor mixing some roasted chestnuts on the street.
We passed this woman on the street who was driving a house-on-wheels (picture below) ready for selling her street food, but her cart was unique as it was designed for maximum-comfort of the porter: it came complete with a television attached!
We got back into the bus, joking about paying our 100 bhat for a stamp in the passport saying we'd been to Myanmar as well, only to stop a few minutes outside of Mae Sai suddenly leaving those of us at the back of the bus wondering what the heck was going on: one of the older men in the Front crowd wanted to stop to take a picture of a rice field with the mountains in the distance. I have to say it was absolutely beautiful, but they were crossing four lanes of extremely busy traffic giving our adorable porter a heart attack, feeling compelled to personally escort them across the road to safety. Picture taken, we were DYING laughing in the back of the bus as he grabbed each of the lat 2 by the hand, and personally held their hands across the road back to the bus. It was hilarious. A number of other folks on the bus realized there was a stall next to the bus selling wine for 100bhat a bottle so Marius, among others (myself included) got off the bus to try this horrible alcoholic excuse for wine, sample a dried strawberry (which was delicious) and troop back on the bus, all of us laughing. I bought a bottle of the bad wine and as we pulled into the Teak Garden Spa Hotel 10km outside of Chiang Rai a few minutes later, Marius was joking that he bought 3 bottles and his plan was to open them all and party. I was laughing. I don't know if it happened, I got separated and went to find my room and didn't manage to catch up with them the rest of the night. After checking in, I got over the absolute awe of the beauty and elegance of my room, threw open the teak windows to let in the sounds of millions of frogs chirping in the dying evening light and went out to take a few pictures. This place is like heaven: lush, absolutely gorgeous, flowers everywhere, perfectly manicured, with zillions of tiny brown toads (I guess they'd be toads, not frogs) jumping all over the sidewalks. I walked carefully as not to kill any of them.
My room: 303 at the Teak Garden Spa. A pathway to the pool, and a pretty yellow flower on a tree full of them. The rooms, below, are separated into free standing buildings with 8 units each. Between them are manicured lawns, pristine gardens and views of expansive rice fields on all 4 sides. I took some shots and went in to the lobby to inquire about the internet. To my astonishment and happiness, it's free and wireless in the main reception room (which is a gorgeous open air patio filled with, of course, teak furniture. There is also a business center where you can pay 15 bhat for 15 minutes then 3 bhat a minute thereafter. I ran into Kerry who is staying above me in 305 and we both went to the lobby to see about getting online. She had her laptop and mine was in the room. She managed to get connected, so I left for the restaurant in search of dinner. There are a Russian couple on the tour, who I've spoken to a couple of times who are neither friendly or unfriendly, and a couple I sat next to on the flight from Taiepi to Chaing Mai the wife is Russian and the husband from the south somewhere. He's quite nice, but I may have been bit too shy for him while on the flight and I may have alienated him a little bit. It's funny- they are so different a couple. He's an attractive guy, but shorter, not thin, and southern. She's this rail-thin dyed blonde with manicured nails, huge semi-precious stone rings, looks very made up all the time. He seems to be rather exasperated with her. Neither wear wedding rings, I looked at her and assumed he was financing her habits and seeing them interact on the tour he seems to be kind of exasperated with her fussiness. it's been amusing, I think I read that correctly.
Anyhow: I went to the restaurant for dinner and sat down at a table prepared to eat alone when the super nice blond woman who I've had a couple of sentence interactions with so far said "Are you eating alone? Would you like yo join us?" She is traveling with a woman who is shorter, not thin, not friendly, and trying very hard to be a novice Buddhist, kneeling in the temple next to me 3 times like Nan showed us at that first wat we visited. I laughed inwardly at her trying- she's so- i don't know how to describe. Learning as I did at this dinner that she's an RN in an inner city ER for 30 years was no surprise. What was totally surprising was the fact that this absolutely delightful, charming, conversational blond woman would be her friend. They asked if I was alone, they talked about their travels, they talked about why they chose a guided tour to asia, and I forgot their names. We talked about what I did, nursey always downplaying it and comparing me to nurse practitioners and trying to see if a PA is just as capable as an NP. "Wow, so you can actually bill on your own like an NP can?" No, genius, I can do more. And I'm not a nurse. Ever!
But don't get me started on my professional high-horse topics, this is vacation. Surprisingly, the food was american style, few thai options, and very inexpensive. I had a hamburger for 100 bhat. They started talking about how amazing, accommodating, and wonderfulNan has been as a tour guide. I tried to stick with the things that are true: she tries very hard to be accommodating. She is extremely friendly. But mostly kept my mouth shut while they were just effusive in their praise. Apparently, a woman named Cindy who traveled with Nan once before wrote into F.P. about how fabulous Nan was and the comment made it onto the website. They were just glowing about that. As my great mentor in education once said "Everything bad comes out of trying to be nice." She is trying so hard to be nice. Most of us are ready to choke her. Not these two- Ms. Battle-Axe Nurse who thinks she can soak up "truly local" culture and try and be Buddhist for 12 days and her lovely friend: they are positively not interested in real Thai culture as I threw out my willingness to try street vendor food in Chiang Mai (not that I'm piously proud of that fact or anything) and they were both aghast that I wasn't this moment in my room with dysentery. Nursey was loving the shopping and basically praising everything this trip has been about: shopping. Culture, schmulture, throw in a wat here and there and show me where to spend my money.
Much to my shock and displeasure, Nan herself came by with a plate full of thai appetizers (among them chicken satay- how can you not like that?!) and sat down with us. They talked and talked and 40 minutes later I was so frustrated at having listened to her all day and being forced to listen to her all night at dinner, I asked for my bill and left. Was I going to the elephant ride or hill tribes tomorrow? No, I said to their absolutely scandalized looks, I need a little down time, this has been a lot for me to handle so far. That seemed to placate them and I departed for the night. Got another couple of chapters in the book polished off and a little bit of website, climbed into my very comfortable twin-sized platform bed, closed the curtains and fell asleep by 10pm.